I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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