Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
