i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
