my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's shark week go big or go home
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
