You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
