You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
