Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
