Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
