Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm bleeding and have questions
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
