I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
