Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
