I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
