my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize