none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Randomize
