I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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