it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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