so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
