why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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