I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
