Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
