Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
