i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
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