what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
