I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
