he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
