Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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