What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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