Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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