Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
