I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
