TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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