she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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