the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
