Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
