how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
