I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
