Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
