You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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