I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
