Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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