Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
