1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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