i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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