ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
