Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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