That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
