I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
