More tranny stories later!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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