You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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