Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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