Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
