But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
