We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she peed on how many people?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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