We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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