Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
