just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
